I am unsure how I feel about these pants, aesthetically- and economically-speaking. These dyslexic M.C. Hammer pants — baggy at the bottom, fitted at the top — sell for around 1500 kroner a pop (which is about $300 bucks). All for an ill-fitting piece of shiny parachute fabric around the legs, with an elastic waistband and elastic cuffs at the ankles.
I've only spotted these trendy pants floating on the beautiful bods of the wafer-thin, gorgeous Danes of Copenhagen. The girls in Denmark, no matter how hard they try, wear these things effortlessly, without looking like they just rolled out of bed. Now Americans, on the other hand, have gotten into some very bad fashion habits. And it pains me. I don't know how many times I've gone to a nail salon in Sacramento on a Saturday morning around 11AM, only to see a bunch of Sac State co-eds pull up in their BMWs, clutching their Starbucks with their chipped acrylic nails, wearing flannel, plaid pajama pants, hooded college sweatshirts and ratty old Ugg boots. I look at them and think, "Who raised you?" You're here at Modern Nails because you care about your hands and toes, but what about everything else? Can't even get dressed before leaving the house? Truly, California needs to stop this 'every day is Casual Friday look' because it has deteriorated into Pajama Saturday. And it's borderline ridiculous.
But I digress. This summer, while traveling around Europe and Southeast Asia, I did not see any clown pants in France or Italy, not in Sweden or India; and certainly not in California. These pants are a highly controversial topic in Denmark though -- even more than the immigration issue. At a key work retreat at the advertising agency where I'm employed -- where we discussed best practices on things like client pitches, mood boards and proper note-taking -- a few boys in the office raised their hands, filed an opinion, and took a non-majority vote deciding that, "The girls aren't allowed to wear the clown pants to work any longer."
So there you have it. They have been outlawed.
They are so ugly, I simply had to have a pair - and I'm not even pregnant. But I refuse to plunk down so much money in these tough economic times. So, my mom Nancy came to the rescue, as she often does.
While home in California just after my birthday last month, we designed and made the pairs featured here. It was a hoot! We went to the fabric store and bought some beautiful textiles in four different patterns for around 8 dollars, and a Vogue pattern for 99-cents. We made 2 pairs of deliciously trendy, possible ugly clown pants, just for me. Midway through the sewing process, my dad and 2 sisters asked my mom why she was sewing me pajamas. I cringed, because that's exactly the look we're not going for. But I'll let you be the judge.
The first pair comes in a silky, pseudo-polka-dot pattern, with a 1970's Pucci-inspired orange & gold waistband.
The second pair is more of a classic clown pant, in a traditional purple, green and black floral print. Simply lux and so comfortable.
I pair these pants with a white tank under a black cotton cardigan, a simple ballet flat, and a 'don't mess with me' smile.
Please, feel free to comment on how much you love them, or hate them, or are jealous of my new pants.
Yours in good fashion,